She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
