Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I want to be your penis for a week.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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