what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize