I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
