I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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