I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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