why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
