Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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