so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
