did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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