Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
