Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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