I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
