Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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