Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
