Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
