Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
