Who did Billy Mays play for?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
