I'm going to jail i love you
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
