at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
