you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize