A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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