I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize