OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
