Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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