you guys were way drunker than both of me
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
