Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
