haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize