Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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