I think i sorta joined a cult last night
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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