Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I have fence marks all over my body
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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