How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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