Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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