Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
party gras won. party gras always wins.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We are all done wearing pants today
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
