i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
