what day is it and did you see me today?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
