There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
