We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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