I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
