We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
