Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
no, he came in my armpit
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
