She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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