i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
