just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
