He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
