why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
So apparently I’m into choking now
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