go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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