she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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