Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
