# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
