Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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