So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
