When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
should my penis look like a turkey
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The feeling are messing with the penis
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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