If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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