think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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