Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
