question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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