To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
